Sunday, November 18, 2012

Say What?!

I found this gem from a few years ago and had to re-post for your viewing pleasure.  I could have entitled it “better than mad gab”-OR- “why you as the triage nurse need to lay EYES on the patient signing in” -OR- “one more reason I love being an ER nurse” :o)

When patients enter the emergency room (barring they don't have an emergent condition such as a gun shot wound, heart attack, difficulty breathing - you get the idea), they are asked to sign in. The sign in sheet is NOT a difficult piece of paper to fill out. Simply your name, address, and the infamous question:


The following are actual examples from my hospital's sign in sheets.

- Play bascket ball brocken mouse and house.

- Intoxicate with old meat.

- Dog bait.

- She have fifer pain.

- Sord throw.

- Jabad a stick in eye.

- My lips were not right.

- I have all peat I have chase in band.

- Her head hearts and she can't breed good.

- He can't not breed.

- Stomach hurt were going #2 has animals that come out.
[Makes you wonder what KIND of animals, eh?]

- A friend had to come here for his legs and spoke to a DR about my possible bladder hanging out. I got scared and came on in.

- Jar loose cannot close for mouse.

- Tosdy.

- Sink.

- My hair is no good.
[OH! THIS is where you go on a bad hair day...]

- Temperature is 171.0.

- Eliget act to fish.

- Extreme lower back leg & neck pain, please ask the doctor to be a little sympathetic condition.

- Leg is swallowing.

- Hem roy.

[And for the ones who want everything checked...]
- It's been some few days ago, sharp pain thru butt and on bone, I fell and hurt my buttocks and I'm in severe pain. I think I broke something back there. I need ex-rays and I need to be checked for TB. Check sugar, diabetic and it's been running high too. I also chronic Hep C.
- Think I found a lump in my breast, vaginal secrescuns, & hurt my right foot think toe is jammed.

- Car finder binder.

- His ear hear a lot.
[This is a problem?]

- Cat arm.

- Tapaon stuck in virginia.

- She can't pop.

- I'm getting these balls all over my body I don't know what it is.

- I have an animal on my ear.

- Sicker than a dog, I think I have walking pneumonia, back, head, and whole body hurts, nose is runnning, coughing.

- Haigh presion.

- Hemmorolies (retus).

- Cool, paid.
[Doesn't sound too bad...]


- Foot swollen (spider) mean one.

- His tang cracked when he play with other kid.

- “1) urine falls freely, 2) hives due to lost meds on body, 3) brown leakage, 4) burns to urine, 5) lot of pain, 6) try a new thing and have tremendous rash - employed at Waffle House.”

- Severe pain in my stimulator.

- Privet part swoll leg num head hurt can't see real good blorrie viction thank i might have gotten pit by something and it effecting me don't real no can't thank.

- My thork.

- Fall off the morsito.

- Heart missing.

- Nell in lag.

- He eat's a little, his throt his a nosie. He cannot cry.

- Eye ech eare pine.

- Nick & head.

- Bite on tummy @ belt line swell, puss gew coming gew.

And my personal favorite:


If you actually understood all these, drop what you are doing and become a triage nurse! If not, join the rest of us and, if you're a nurse, eyeball your patient when they walk in because sometimes you have NO IDEA from what they will write! :)


Anonymous said...

One day, some man will come in and write:Here to make Wedding Proposal, to Cara? Smart Guy! We all await the answer, to Cara s Wedding Proposal Number 221! HaHa!!

Gwyn said...

This is a laugh out loud post!

Rachel said...

oh my word. laughed so hard i had tears! thanks for helping me burn some thanksgiving day calories!