When patients enter the emergency room (barring they don't have an emergent
condition such as a gun shot wound, heart attack, difficulty breathing - you
get the idea), they are asked to sign in. The sign in sheet is NOT a difficult
piece of paper to fill out. Simply your name, address, and the infamous
question:
WHY DID YOU COME TO THE ER TODAY?
The following are actual examples from my hospital's sign in sheets.
- Play bascket ball brocken mouse and house.
- Intoxicate with old meat.
- Dog bait.
- She have fifer pain.
- Sord throw.
- Jabad a stick in eye.
- My lips were not right.
- I have all peat I have chase in band.
- Her head hearts and she can't breed good.
- He can't not breed.
- Stomach hurt were going #2 has animals that come out.
[Makes you wonder what KIND of animals, eh?]
- A friend had to come here for his legs and spoke to a DR about my possible bladder hanging out. I got scared and came on in.
- Jar loose cannot close for mouse.
- Tosdy.
- Sink.
- My hair is no good.
[OH! THIS is where you go on a bad hair day...]
- Temperature is 171.0.
- Eliget act to fish.
- Extreme lower back leg & neck pain, please ask the doctor to be a little sympathetic condition.
- Leg is swallowing.
- Hem roy.
[And for the ones who want everything checked...]
- It's been some few days ago, sharp pain thru butt and on bone, I fell and hurt my buttocks and I'm in severe pain. I think I broke something back there. I need ex-rays and I need to be checked for TB. Check sugar, diabetic and it's been running high too. I also chronic Hep C.
- Think I found a lump in my breast, vaginal secrescuns, & hurt my right foot think toe is jammed.
- Car finder binder.
- His ear hear a lot.
[This is a problem?]
- Cat arm.
- Tapaon stuck in virginia.
- She can't pop.
- I'm getting these balls all over my body I don't know what it is.
- I have an animal on my ear.
- Sicker than a dog, I think I have walking pneumonia, back, head, and whole body hurts, nose is runnning, coughing.
- Haigh presion.
- Hemmorolies (retus).
- Cool, paid.
[Doesn't sound too bad...]
- REEXMERGANCY.
- Foot swollen (spider) mean one.
- His tang cracked when he play with other kid.
- “1) urine falls freely, 2) hives due to lost meds on body, 3) brown leakage, 4) burns to urine, 5) lot of pain, 6) try a new thing and have tremendous rash - employed at Waffle House.”
- Severe pain in my stimulator.
- Privet part swoll leg num head hurt can't see real good blorrie viction thank i might have gotten pit by something and it effecting me don't real no can't thank.
- My thork.
- Fall off the morsito.
- Heart missing.
- Nell in lag.
- He eat's a little, his throt his a nosie. He cannot cry.
- Eye ech eare pine.
- Nick & head.
- Bite on tummy @ belt line swell, puss gew coming gew.
And my personal favorite:
- “NOT SURE!”
If you actually understood all these, drop what you are doing and become a triage nurse! If not, join the rest of us and, if you're a nurse, eyeball your patient when they walk in because sometimes you have NO IDEA from what they will write! :)
WHY DID YOU COME TO THE ER TODAY?
The following are actual examples from my hospital's sign in sheets.
- Play bascket ball brocken mouse and house.
- Intoxicate with old meat.
- Dog bait.
- She have fifer pain.
- Sord throw.
- Jabad a stick in eye.
- My lips were not right.
- I have all peat I have chase in band.
- Her head hearts and she can't breed good.
- He can't not breed.
- Stomach hurt were going #2 has animals that come out.
[Makes you wonder what KIND of animals, eh?]
- A friend had to come here for his legs and spoke to a DR about my possible bladder hanging out. I got scared and came on in.
- Jar loose cannot close for mouse.
- Tosdy.
- Sink.
- My hair is no good.
[OH! THIS is where you go on a bad hair day...]
- Temperature is 171.0.
- Eliget act to fish.
- Extreme lower back leg & neck pain, please ask the doctor to be a little sympathetic condition.
- Leg is swallowing.
- Hem roy.
[And for the ones who want everything checked...]
- It's been some few days ago, sharp pain thru butt and on bone, I fell and hurt my buttocks and I'm in severe pain. I think I broke something back there. I need ex-rays and I need to be checked for TB. Check sugar, diabetic and it's been running high too. I also chronic Hep C.
- Think I found a lump in my breast, vaginal secrescuns, & hurt my right foot think toe is jammed.
- Car finder binder.
- His ear hear a lot.
[This is a problem?]
- Cat arm.
- Tapaon stuck in virginia.
- She can't pop.
- I'm getting these balls all over my body I don't know what it is.
- I have an animal on my ear.
- Sicker than a dog, I think I have walking pneumonia, back, head, and whole body hurts, nose is runnning, coughing.
- Haigh presion.
- Hemmorolies (retus).
- Cool, paid.
[Doesn't sound too bad...]
- REEXMERGANCY.
- Foot swollen (spider) mean one.
- His tang cracked when he play with other kid.
- “1) urine falls freely, 2) hives due to lost meds on body, 3) brown leakage, 4) burns to urine, 5) lot of pain, 6) try a new thing and have tremendous rash - employed at Waffle House.”
- Severe pain in my stimulator.
- Privet part swoll leg num head hurt can't see real good blorrie viction thank i might have gotten pit by something and it effecting me don't real no can't thank.
- My thork.
- Fall off the morsito.
- Heart missing.
- Nell in lag.
- He eat's a little, his throt his a nosie. He cannot cry.
- Eye ech eare pine.
- Nick & head.
- Bite on tummy @ belt line swell, puss gew coming gew.
And my personal favorite:
- “NOT SURE!”
If you actually understood all these, drop what you are doing and become a triage nurse! If not, join the rest of us and, if you're a nurse, eyeball your patient when they walk in because sometimes you have NO IDEA from what they will write! :)
3 comments:
One day, some man will come in and write:Here to make Wedding Proposal, to Cara? Smart Guy! We all await the answer, to Cara s Wedding Proposal Number 221! HaHa!!
This is a laugh out loud post!
oh my word. laughed so hard i had tears! thanks for helping me burn some thanksgiving day calories!
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